Trigger Warning: What 9/11 Eventually Taught Me About Emotional Suppression
Learning Your Emotions After Years of Compartmentalizing
By Shaman Isis
Spiritual Teacher | Consciousness Advocate | Lover of Divine Truth
As we approach the 25th anniversary of 9/11, I would like to share my personal account of that day. For years, I hesitated to speak about it. Then, several young people thanked me for including it in Memory Mansion. They told me how difficult it was to understand an event that so many would rather pretend never happened. That avoidance is a form of mass emotional suppression. Their questions and conversations helped me begin healing from the trauma.
What many people do not know is that the World Trade Center was one of my clients at the time. I had the privilege of putting Windows on the World and other event spaces on the global stage, using the same PR tactics that earned five of my clients major features in Sex and the City. My career was soaring, yet privately I was struggling as a highly masked autistic woman and a closeted psychic. Those were two traits that could ruin a promising career in the 1990s.
A few days before 9/11, my spirit guides urged me not to attend a meeting I had scheduled at Windows on the World that morning. On the day itself, they nudged me again, so I canceled the meeting and went to my downtown office instead. On my way, I saw the first plane hit. I was suddenly overwhelmed with visions of what was coming. I told my coworkers the towers would fall, and they thought I had lost my grip. When the second plane struck, I insisted even more strongly. I ran into the streets, searching for a police officer or firefighter, and tried calling the police and the WTC.
I rarely write about being a telepathic psychic, perhaps because it is a gift we all share but are conditioned to repress. That day, I began to hear the thoughts and choices people were making, and it was unbearable. Soon after, I spiraled into grief, depression, and shame that I had not been able to do more. I was furious with myself. What was the use of these psychic skills if I could not prevent tragedy? I buried the experience, threw myself into work, and never spoke of it. I was too afraid of what people would think.
It took twenty years for me to find the courage to begin the healing journey. The path has been steep, demanding, and anything but easy. Healing requires us to dig up the darkest, most hidden parts of ourselves. For two decades, I struggled with depression because I had never developed emotional intelligence. I had learned instead to mask my quirks and suppress my trauma. Deep down, I feared that facing the truth would break me. In some ways, I was right. Healing brings us to our knees, again and again.
Most of us were never taught about emotional intelligence or how to recognize our emotions. That gap is one of the reasons I now do this work. To help others suffer less. With that in mind, here is a simple method for practicing emotional intelligence.
Delighted to announce our initiative to educate 10,000 Americans with AI literacy training. Individuals, nonprofits, and organizations can sign up here.
1. Build Self-Awareness
Pay attention to your emotions as they arise throughout the day.
Keep a journal where you note what triggered an emotion, how you felt, and how you responded.
Practice mindfulness or meditation to sharpen your ability to notice thoughts and feelings without judgment.
2. Practice Self-Regulation
Pause before reacting when strong emotions arise. A deep breath or short break can prevent impulsive responses.
Identify patterns in your behavior, such as avoiding conflict or lashing out, and practice replacing them with healthier responses.
Use calming techniques such as breathing exercises, walking, or listening to music when you feel overwhelmed.
3. Strengthen Motivation
Set personal goals that align with your values and revisit them regularly.
Cultivate resilience by reframing setbacks as opportunities to learn.
Track your progress and celebrate small wins to stay motivated.
4. Develop Empathy
Listen actively by focusing on the speaker without planning your response.
Ask clarifying questions to better understand what someone is feeling.
Put yourself in another person’s shoes and consider their perspective before responding.
5. Improve Social Skills
Practice open communication by expressing your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully.
Pay attention to nonverbal cues such as body language and tone of voice.
Focus on collaboration and finding win-win solutions in group settings.
6. Apply and Reflect
After important interactions, reflect on what went well and what you could do differently.
Seek feedback from trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues on how you handle emotions and relationships.
Commit to small, consistent adjustments rather than drastic changes.
With love and compassion,
Shaman Isis
