If You Love the Women in Your Life, Read This
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By Shaman Isis
Spiritual Teacher | Consciousness Advocate | Lover of Divine Truth
If you love the women in your life, you’re going to want to keep reading. Many of you know that four years ago, I went on a wild, epic, soul-rattling spiritual journey. It was the most beautiful and extreme period of my life. I went from low-level depressed to behaving like a teenager with freedom, and the resources, to chase wings I didn’t even know I had. It was crazy. It was thrilling. It cracked me open in all the right ways. I became a spiritual teacher and started helping others do the same.
Then, about a year ago, everything changed.
Out of nowhere, I began battling depressive episodes and mood swings so intense they bordered on bipolar. My energy was unpredictable. My confidence wobbled. My creativity struggled. I started searching for answers, and what I found stunned me:
I was in perimenopause, and I had been misinformed for decades about what that actually means for women.
Like most people, I thought menopause was a kind of hormonal cold: annoying but manageable, something you just patch with a little estrogen and keep going. I had no idea that media, culture, and even the medical community have been miseducating us for generations. And the consequences? Extreme. Devastating. Silent.
Especially for women with CPTSD, trauma histories, or autoimmune conditions.
So I dug in. I researched. I talked to doctors, scientists, and wellness experts. And what I discovered made my blood boil.
The Harsh Truths No One Wants to Say Out Loud
Here’s what the world doesn’t want to admit:
Less than 1% of ALL medical research is spent on women over 40.
Yes, you read that correctly. One percent. We are half the population and yet nearly invisible in research.Fifty million women in the U.S. are currently in perimenopause or menopause, and most are navigating it with little to no support.
Women were told for decades NOT to take hormones, despite the fact that we do need them to protect our hearts, brains, bones, and mental health. That misinformation was based on flawed research done on, wait for it, women OVER 60 who had already been without hormones for years.
Perimenopause can begin up to 10 years before your period stops, and the symptoms are not just hot flashes. They can mimic:
depression
anxiety
ADHD
bipolar disorder
fibromyalgia
autoimmune flare-ups
cognitive decline
loss of libido, identity, and emotional stability
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Estrogen is a master regulator, not some minor reproductive hormone. When it drops:
serotonin drops
dopamine drops
sleep collapses
inflammation skyrockets
metabolism tanks
emotional resilience weakens
trauma responses intensify
Women are more likely to be misdiagnosed or dismissed during perimenopause, especially Black women, LGBTQ+ women, and women with trauma histories.
The average woman sees 3–5 doctors before anyone connects her symptoms to perimenopause.
Some are misdiagnosed with severe mental illness. Some are medicated unnecessarily. Some are left to quietly fall apart.
This is what ignoring women’s health for a century looks like.
Why This Matters for You, Yes, YOU
Because every woman you love will go through this. Every mother, sister, wife, partner, friend, colleague, and daughter. Because women over 40 are the backbone of families, companies, cultural life, and entire communities. And because when we suffer in silence, everyone feels the consequences.
If women are falling apart during one of the most hormonally destabilizing periods of their lives, and no one is telling them why, that’s a societal failure, not a personal one.
How You Can Support the Women in Your Life (Without Getting Yourself Hurt in the Process)
If you want to support the women you love, here’s what you can do, starting today:
1. Believe Her.
If she says she doesn’t feel like herself, she isn’t exaggerating. She’s telling you the truth.
2. Educate Yourself.
Learn the real symptoms of perimenopause. Learn how hormones affect mood, cognition, inflammation, and mental health.
If you can learn the stats of your favorite sports team, you can learn what women go through.
3. Don’t Minimize Her Experience.
No “everyone gets older.”
No “it’s just hormones.”
No “you’re overreacting.”
Minimizing a woman’s pain is violence wrapped in a smile.
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4. Encourage Her to Seek Real Care—Not Dismissal.
Many doctors are not trained in menopause care.
Functional doctors, menopause specialists, and up-to-date OB/GYNs are.
5. Help Her Protect Her Peace.
Stress makes symptoms worse.
Support her boundaries.
Help her carve out rest.
Pick up responsibilities without being asked.
6. Compliment Her Strength, Not Just Her Looks.
Because this phase can steal confidence and identity.
Remind her who she is.
Remind her of what she’s survived.
Remind her that she is still fire.
7. Ask How You Can Help—and Mean It.
A simple “What do you need today?” can save a woman who is on the edge.
Why I’m Writing This
Because I know you love the women in your life.
Because I know most of you had no idea how extreme this phase can be.
Because I refuse to let another woman feel like she’s losing her mind when she’s really losing estrogen.
And because the world has dismissed, deprioritized, and devalued women over 40 for far too long. Why, mainly because they fear women with experience and glorify naive women who can give birth.
It’s time to tell the truth.
It’s time to change the conversation.
And it’s time, finally, to support the women who have been supporting everyone else.
With love,
Cynthia
Shaman Isis
